#dagoth ulen

[aladaylessecondblog]

Lil Nerevar 2

Haj-deek herself seemed to adjust nicely--there were all kinds of weird people here, but they gave her a pretty red robe, a special amulet, and a little gold crown (she thought it looked like one, anyway).

Im-Kilaya said the volcano man was her father, so it must be true. And the volcano man said she had uncles--his brothers, and they would all see her later. The one she had seen was grumpy--Gilvoth, he said his name was.

Gilvoth had come into the Heart Chamber, looked at her and said, "There's no denying you're his daughter."

"Why's dat?"

"You look just like him when he was your size. He was the youngest of us."

"Oh." Haj-deek laughed. The idea of the big volcano man ever being this small was funny.

Gilvoth had looked up at Ulen, who was standing at her side and holding to her wrist with one of his face-trunks. "Why are you holding onto her like that?"

Ulen didn't say anything in protest or justification, merely let go of Haj-deek's wrist. The second he did she bolted for a gap between two parts of the bridge, and said, "Watch me make it over three of them!"

She wobbled--nearly fell--

Only to float, upside down, back up until she was turned right-side up again.

"That's why, Lord Gilvoth."

"By the heart, she's JUST like him...I'd forgotten he did shit like that."

"What shit?"

Gilvoth's eyes widened. "You didn't hear that, little one."

"I did so! You SAID it!"

[aladaylessecondblog]

me after, for a fic, expanding a bit on Dagoth Ulen, one of the only ascended sleepers that can talk

Ascended Sleeper from Morrowind

[sixteenthchapel]

one big room, full of bad bitches

Collab with @tesjejunus , who provided the sketch and color for the first pic, and i did the lines for each, as well as colors in the last. House Dagoth as chimer, and as ash vampires and sharmats... and one ascended sleeper (luv you, ulen bby <3)

from left to right, back to front: Endus, Vemyn, @tesjejunus's Voryn/Dagoth Ur and my own version of Voryn/Dagoth Ur, Uthol, Ulen, Erys and Odros

[uesp]

"Look! It's Azura's Fool! Look at you. Not a real thing at all. Just a pathetic puppet of prophecy. And you think you can trust the Daedra Lords?

"Come on! You're the prophesied Incarnate! Azura has promised you fame and glory! Surely you can't be afraid of me, can you? Don't be shy. With a Daedra Lord for ally and patron, how could you lose? Oh, PLEASE don't hurt me, star-blessed hero!

"Ah, she's sucked you in with her pretty prophecies. Promised you power, did she? Promised you justice, did she? And when did a Daedra Lord ever fulfill a promise? Such a faulty memory you have.

"Mortals are but simple sport to the Daedra Lords. They pull the strings, and you poor fools leap and dance. Why do you serve them? Why do you fall for their honeyed lies? For ages you've yielded to their temptations, their false promises. How soon you forget their treachery, their deceits."

--Dagoth Ulen

[fyeahmorrowind]

Dagoth Ulen | Dagoth Ulen is an Ascended Sleeper, who can be found at the Sixth House base of Kogoruhn, in the Vault of Aerode. He is one of the few Ascended Sleepers capable of speech, though you'll need to sneak up on him or cast Calm in order to talk to him.

[aladaylessecondblog]

I have like a million things to write

why am I writing a fake book for Severed Destiny's future chapters called 'Blind Azura' (authored by Dagoth Ulen)

[aladaylessecondblog]

Fallen Star, pt. 7

Author's Note: Warning, long. 5k words, no smut. Sadara goes to Kogoruhn. There is the breakdown of a cliffracer carcass in this chapter.

------------------------------

The trip was largely silent, for certainly Rather couldn't speak. He knew exactly what route to take, so Sadara let him lead her by the hand despite how cold, deathly, and rough his skin felt.

When the occasional corprus beast or cliffracer threatened them, Rather was the first to charge magic, to put himself between her and the threat, and blast it until it stopped moving. He didn't seem puzzled that she joined in, but he DID when she grabbed the (now bloodless) cliffracer and started shoving it into one of her empty bags.

He gestured briefly at the cliffracer's body, then waved his hands.

"You eat corprusmeat," she said, "I don't. There's good eating on these things. V--Lord Dagoth sent me out with rations, but...meat is meat."

That answer seemed to satisfy him, and he lead her onward. East of Vemynal, according to the map, though Rather didn't seem to need one. She wondered if none of the Buoyant Armigers knew of this way in...if they did, then they weren't able to take it. Kogoruhn WAS a large base after all, and if it was inhabited by one of Voryn's brothers--ash vampire, the thought came a second later--then it wasn't going to be easy to conquer.

She'd come through Kogoruhn before, somehow managed to sneak past most of those within. But two she remembered.

Dagoth Ulen had mocked her for what he perceived as her devotion to Azura. "Ah, she's sucked you in with her pretty prophecies. Promised you power, did she? Promised you justice, did she? And when did a Daedra Lord ever fulfill a promise? Such a faulty memory you have."

She'd responded that she didn't even worship Azura, that she had been brought up to fear the daedric princes--that now remembering Voryn, Lord Dagoth as the sleepers all called him--she wanted to see him first, before she did anything more. Before she obeyed Azura's commands, obeyed her much farther--

"Mortals are but simple sport to the Daedra Lords. They pull the strings, and you poor fools leap and dance..."

"I dance to no one's tune but my own," she'd replied, "I am only here because--I want to see him before I--make any decisions."

That had seemed to calm him, temporarily. And as Rather lead her into the tunnel, she wondered then what Uthol would have to say. Him she'd told the same thing--that she wanted to see Voryn before doing anything else.

Sadara started to remove the scarf covering everything but her eyes and let it hang about her neck. She tensed when she saw another ascended sleeper up ahead.

What if this was all a trap? What if they meant to kill her here? What if--

Rather stopped in place, and turned back, patting the back of her hand. Perhaps trying to reassure her, she couldn't be entirely sure. But the other sleeper neared, and when it spoke she was sure it was Ulen. That thin, reedy voice that heightened into something more like a trumpet when he grew excited. Like a living wind instrument, like words spoken through them--wrong, utterly wrong. But still he was.

"Nerevar, how glad we are that you have seen the light!"

Rather shuffled aside so Ulen could approach; the latter raised his (shaking?) rough hands to her face.

"No more a puppet of prophecy. No more a tool of Azura. We welcome you, Nerevar Sadara."

"I...thank you." Sadara knew not what to say for a moment, knew not where to look. There were holes on Ulen's face, but none of them looked like proper eyes at which to direct her own. "There's no need for the fuss. Not that I'm ungrateful for V...Lord Dagoth's welcome, it's just..."

"Come, come." This time it was Ulen who lead her by the hand. Rather followed along behind them. "Lord Uthol expects you."

"It's really not necessary to bother him, I can't imagine he'll be very thrilled."

He'd let her through before, but she was sure he'd be as ill pleased as Gilvoth had been. She wouldn't really blame him for it, either. Someone calling themselves the Nerevarine waltzes in, spreads her legs, and thinks THAT's all it takes to--

It is not you he wants, but Nerevar.

"We are always happy when we receive a new follower. But for Nerevar to return and join us? THAT is worthy of celebration!" Ulen was all excited flutes now, "It has pleased our Lord greatly, and his joy is our joy."

"He's told you already?"

"Did you think our Lord would keep your presence a secret from the rest of his House? He would never treat you so cruelly."

"I...I didn't expect such a greeting, was all," Sadara went on in a slightly less shaky voice, "Considering the prophecy, I was certain that I'd be viewed with more suspicion, like everyone else on Vvardenfell has--"

"Such malice is the domain of Azura, she who thought herself the architect of your destiny, the designer of your misery. You are wiser than you at first seemed, and I offer my abject apologies for the assumption that you would fulfill those prophecies."

"No, there's no need to apologize. Really. I...I would be suspicious too, if I had been..."

Everything is fine. You're just in some tunnel underground with a couple of ascended sleepers and you're not wearing armor at all. It's not as though they would kill you and leave you here.

They could.

Sure, she had a longsword at her hip and a dagger hidden beneath the robe, but they were strong enough they could make short work of her before she could even lift a blade.

But they didn't.

"If I were one of you," she finally finished.

"That you are not, yet soon you shall be, by the grace of Lord Dagoth."

Sadara swallowed nervously when they approached a door. She still couldn't get Gilvoth's last look out of her head, that dour tone. Uthol had been friendly enough when she'd last come through, but...at the same time, she wasn't sure how he might take...the situation. She didn't know how much Voryn had shared, or how he'd worded it. He didn't exactly tell her these things...

Gods, what a fool I am.

The door opened, and Ulen let go of her hand, moving forward and turning toward someone she couldn't see as she entered, with Rather following close behind. She realized she was sweating, and took the scarf off to dab at the sweat on her brow.

"And there she is," came Uthol's voice. "Well met, Nerevar, well met indeed. Fortune smiles. You have survived the journey, made your submission..."

Sadara lowered her hands, and absent-mindedly wrapped one a few times over with the scarf. "And now here I am."

Uthol's eyes trailed slightly downward from her face, and she noticed a strange little smile.

"I didn't think you would take my suggestion quite so literally."

Sadara was confused, but reached up to touch her neck when Uthol gestured. There was pain over the spot--

Oh, gods, I COMPLETELY forgot about the bite mark he left!

She flushed with embarrassment and instantly said, hoping he didn't notice that too, "You can blame the Dagoth Brandy for that. I was...I wanted to clear the air about some things I didn't remember, and...well, there's no need to go on about it. I...I hope not to bother you overmuch, I know Gilvoth certainly wasn't happy about--"

"Gilvoth is never happy about anything," Uthol said, waving one hand absently. "And given the way Lord Dagoth's vision of your future in our House has changed, I can surmise the reason fairly easily. Perhaps he would simply like peace and solitude once more."

Again, she blushed.

"I...I hope," Sadara stammered slightly, "Still, that my presence will not...be an annoyance."

"Annoyance?" Uthol snorted and laughed. "Annoyance? You come to Lord Dagoth, you swear you mean neither him nor the House of Dagoth any harm, and you are to join us. Nerevar. And think we would find your presence grating?"

"It has not been an easy road getting here," she said quietly, "Native Dunmer are...quite hostile to outsiders. One gets the feeling that one is annoying simply by existing from the direction of the Empire. But considering all that the Empire has done, I understand. But House Dagoth is the first time I ever felt welcomed, and...it's been a breath of fresh air."

Really, it had been. It was, she was sure, part of the reason she'd fallen so easily into Voryn's arms. For the first time since her mother had passed, she felt truly wanted somewhere. But that was just Voryn. She hadn't considered the rest of his House, though given Gilvoth's reaction she'd been reasonably sure they'd be just as ill pleased.

"Even if V--Lord Dagoth insists on sending me here with an escort. As if I couldn't make the journey myself. Has he always been so cautious?"

"We were informed of your condition, so in that case, I cannot say I fault him for this caution. Is it true--your wounds will not heal by spell or by potion?"

She almost felt she shouldn't answer the question, but Uthol seemed genuinely concerned.

"It's true. I've tried several times on smaller wounds. I heal like anyone without magic, but it seems...Lord Dagoth himself is the only one who can outright heal my wounds with spells." And now she felt sheepish for even protesting at the escort. "I can only assume Azura is responsible for it, considering. At first she scolded me for my disobedience, but now she's gone silent."

"At any rate," Uthol said, changing the subject, "We're glad to have you join us here, and some of the sleepers have prepared a room."

"I'm--grateful for that, thank you," Sadara said, "And I'd be more than glad to keep talking. But...and I hate to ask even more from you, I...killed a cliffracer, would you happen to have a kitchen area I could break it down in?"

She pulled out the cliffracer's plucked body from one of her bags. Once more she expected a negative response.

Once more she was greeted with the opposite of what she expected.

Uthol laughed. "Not as such, but I'm sure Ulen could find you an appropriate place to do it in. Do mind the ash poets, though, they may start...piping at you, considering what your presence means. When they're excitable they tend to break into music."

"I'll keep it in mind, Lord Uthol."

He nodded, and added as she was leaving. "If I may, it will be good to have a lady in the house again. Not that I dislike the company of my brothers and the sleepers, but House Dagoth has a sad lack of women."

-------------------------------------

Rather was her shadow into the makeshift kitchen, but it was Ulen who provided most of the conversation as he helped her break down the cliffracer.

"It has been some time since I had need to do this," he said, "But it is like a light spell, once you learn it, you never forget."

"You tended game fairly often?" she asked.

"Certainly. I remember fairly little, but," Ulen replied, sorting through the daggers in her weapons bag until he found some appropriate for carving, "I know I had a daughter, and that I enjoyed the domestic side of life."

"...what brought you here, then? To--to House Dagoth."

Ulen's trunked head lowered as he hacked off the head of the cliffracer. "A bandit raid. My daughter was caught...and by the time I found her=...it was too late."

"I'm so sorry. I--I lost my mother fairly early, though they're not quite the same thing. It was just illness with mine, not...did you have no one else?"

"No one. I was alone, until the Sixth House. Lord Dagoth could not fully erase the pain, but he could blot from my mind the horrors I witnessed. I did not want to remember my daughter as she died, but as she lived...and he gave me that."

Sadara gave a weak smile, but then shifted as a question occurred to her. She cut off the lower fin of the cliffracer, then made a small lateral cut below the breast so she could start removing the skin. "He can make you forget things?"

"Indeed he can, but this he does only for those who move higher in his service. Perhaps it shall be different for you. I do not know, it is not my concern. You are different from us, Nerevar."

"Please," she said suddenly. "Call me Sadara. It is not that I reject who I am, but...as I told V--Lord Dagoth, it feels almost disrespectful. I am him, but if I'm here, then he isn't. He suggested taking Nerevar as the name of my House. I didn't want to use Indoril, for obvious reasons."

"An excellent idea, until the time you join House Dagoth." Ulen pulled the cliffracer breast away from the neck and back, and Sadara, having cleaned her hands and a dagger again, reached for a jar to drop the more inedible organs in. "Lord Dagoth is ready to welcome you, but you seem to know that already."

"It's...overwhelming," she replied in a weak voice, "To go from nothing, to this prophecy, to...a god's open arms...I never thought to find myself secure, let alone..."

Even if I am just Nerevar to him...even if he never sees me as more than that. If I can only change his mind...maybe, maybe...I can finally just REST. I don't need to be a King or a leader like Nerevar was, I'd be happy just being the woman on Voryn's arm...

"...let alone welcomed as I have been. Given what I did about the corprus..."

"Lord Dagoth is not angered by that, we know. It was a way to know that you were Nerevar reborn, after all."

"He said it would be a pity to...to mar a thing of beauty, even with the bounty of his divine disease." Sadara blushed briefly, and looked back to the carcass as Ulen was pulling out the crop, gizzard, and intestinal tract. "I'd never heard such compliments before. It's strange...when I prayed to the Divines, I would ask Mara for a heroic knight, and now I find that I've been sent a god. Perhaps someone wishes to make things up to me."

"Have you considered that that person may be Lord Dagoth himself?"

"'Wisdom, a firm friend, and all the power you need to set the world aright,'" Sadara quoted the note, "He called himself a respectful servant...and a loyal friend."

That of Nerevar's memories which had returned only confirmed that. Voryn had never been anything but loyal, that she could remember. Said what he meant, and meant what he said. Her heart leaped at the idea that it could extend into what had begun to grow between them.

"My only fear in all of this," Sadara lied, "Is Lady Azura's wrath. She has already gotten angry at me for not doing what she sent me for, and...I fear that more may happen the longer this goes on."

"She shall have no opportunity to enact any vengeance; you shall be well-guarded. Lord Dagoth wants no member of his house to worry for their safety." He worked with her in silence for a minute or two, then waited as she cleaned her hands again. "Least of all, his lady."

his lady

How sweet that sounded.

She had a few ash yams and some saltrice, and made a fairly decent stew out of it and the bulk of the cliffracer's edible meat. The scent seemed to draw in some of the other Dagoths, and she looked about for other bowls.

"We need no sustenance but the corprusmeat," Ulen said, "So do not feel obligated to share."

"Nonsense, a guest in the house should be willing to...and besides, I've other food."

She served out the stew to those who sat waiting, then ate from her own bowl with a spoon. The ash ghouls simply tipped their own up and ate that way.

I wonder if this comforts them...if they still remember eating anything before...

It was not a pretty thought, that she might continue doing this, but--even if Voryn did change his mind, these poor things likely wouldn't be able to return to what they were before.

"We thank you, lady Nerevar," one finally spoke once they were all done, "And we are pleased to welcome you into House Dagoth."

"I am not of your house--" Sadara started, but when the moment seemed tense she added, "Yet. But you're all welcome."

"If you intend to see the sunrise," Ulen suddenly said, "And get a good night's rest, I recommend you not linger overlong and proceed to the room we've cleared for you."

"A little longer," she replied, "I've got a lot on my mind, and...plucking at my lute always helps settle my head."

Sadara turned away as several of the ash ghouls tidied away the dishes, and pulled her lute from her bag.

I need to think. If I could have a moment alone that would be better, but...

At least Rather couldn't speak...she assumed he would simply continue to shadow her until she returned to Red Mountain. When she emerged in the morning to watch the sunrise...that would be her best opportunity. As alone as she would get, while she was still within Voryn's circle of influence.

Something slower and quieter. Ah, I know...

She chose The Star-Eyed Bride of Alinor and began to pluck at the strings, the lyrics rolling in the background of her thoughts.

My star-eyed bride of Alinor, lost in storm and spray

Kogoruhn was a palace of death, but they had welcomed her with open arms. Uthol had been more friendly than she'd expected, and Ulen...Ulen had been overjoyed to see her. The ash ghouls...well, they hadn't said much of anything, but they'd been curious enough to take her stew, so she would assume they'd at least not seen her there unhappily.

They were victims as much as any other, though...except Ulen. No, especially Ulen. He'd chosen this, but his grief...

My star-eyed bride of Alinor, that cruel fate took away

A willing soul did not make all this perfectly innocent...grief could make people act dangerously, make them desperate either to forget or to mask over the pain.

Sadara took a deep breath. Voryn wanted to help them, she could see that, and yet he didn't see he was really hurting them. What kind of a life was this, confined to Kogoruhn, never more speaking to anyone who wasn't a member of the family. Not even a chance to do so.

"They deserve better," she murmured under her breath.

White swan feathers fluttered from her ivory bridal gown, and unsung vows slipped from her lips, eager to be found

She could not save them...but if she could just persuade Voryn, perhaps she could stop anyone further from falling into this sort of state. Or like those corprus monsters she'd met on the journey to Kogoruhn.

The next few verses she couldn't seem to quite remember--but the tune stayed the same, so on she went with it. Another thing lost...had he made her lose it? No, no, something in her mind said. He wouldn't do that, he WANTS you to remember all that came before.

Voryn himself, he was in there, inside that one that all of Vvardenfell called a mad god, that one who was spreading the blight across the island. Surely there must be something she could do to save HIM. If Sotha Sil could figure out how to use the Heart of Lorkhan, then SHE could figure out how to free someone from the darker parts of its influence.

"One step at a time," she said, once more under her breath. Soft horns were echoing--

She looked up, to find that Ulen, currently at the end of the room, had been the one making the noise like a soft set of horns.

"By all means, Lady Nerevar," he said, his trunks raised, "Continue."

She looked down at the lute and, shutting her eyes, began again, thoughts staying on Voryn as a verse she did remember rose.

My star-eyed bride of Alinor, whose last words were my name

A moment later she heard Rather from his spot behind her, begin the notes as well (if at a lower pitch) creating a strange trio of sound with her performance and Ulen's.

Then an ash ghoul, its sound a somewhat higher note, and another, somewhat lower. A third, a fourth.

My star-eyed bride of Alinor, I still weep from the shame

Before Morrowind, music was how she made herself seen, and she had never felt so much so as now. To play a song, to have others join along, it was (despite the circumstances) everything she'd dreamed it would be. She lead, they followed, they caught up and every note was harmony.

And then, a thought. A thought that was definitely not her own.

In his flesh and of his flesh.

A slight smug joy not her own, along with the words.

Gares? she thought. Those words, she would not forget those words so easily. It was faint...so very, very faint, on the edge of hearing, just barely audible.

Did I not say you would come to our lord, Nerevar?

Sadara kept playing, feeling a sudden anxiety beneath her skin. The room suddenly felt paradoxically too small and too large, too bare and too crowded. She felt linked to someone, someones. These ash ghouls, Rather, Ulen, most strongly, then somewhere in the mental background was Uthol, and outside Kogoruhn, others. Like the strings of a spider's web moving at the slightest touch she was still, yet was sure she felt--

And here you are.

Yes, she thought, Here I am.

But there was nothing further. She didn't know if the others had heard what she had, or if perhaps she'd simply been hearing things. The ash ghouls did not speak up, and neither did Rather or Ulen. The song finished out, and for a moment there was an almost appreciative silence.

She did not know how she knew that they were glad of the song they'd shared in, as she hadn't looked up to see anyone smiling or anything like that.

What she did know was that she felt their gladness. The echo of the last note passed on, though, and with it came an end to her surety. It was as if a connection established had been suddenly severed.

The ash ghouls got up one by one and left, thanking her or bowing their heads by turns. Eventually, she was left alone with Ulen and Rather.

"I think I will go to sleep now," she said, "That...seems like a good note to go out on."

A sound like whistling flutes, musical laughter. Ulen replied, "In the most literal sense. You truly do belong here, Lady Nerevar."

Sadara gave a weak smile and nodded, then let herself be lead away. The room they'd prepared for her was fairly empty with no windows. There was a bed, only barely qualifying as one with its single blanket and pillow.

Ulen told her that Rather would be standing guard on the other side of the door, and she was finally, finally left alone. She set up her bedroll beneath the blanket, and, shivering just slightly, settled herself into it and sipped quietly from her waterskin.

That connection, whatever it was, had been frightening, and yet at the same time--she had felt the last embers of her fear of loneliness burn out. Was this a small version of what the others with corprus felt? Were they all so connected? Perhaps she had been imagining things, and yet...and yet, she was sure she was right about it.

But it was triggered by music. Specifically, when there was a harmony. Maybe because her case of corprus was stilled, frozen in time, she could not fully feel what they did.

It confused her, as much as Voryn did, but feeling the fatigue of the day's journey she lay back on the bed and shut her eyes.

If it had linked her to the others, she wondered sleepily, then why had she not felt Voryn?

Suppose he is the link? Suppose...

The questions circled puzzlingly in her mind until sleep finally took her.

----------------------------------------------

When she opened her eyes again she wasn't in that dim little room in Kogoruhn, but a large, airy, brightly lit...palace, she wanted to say.

It was crowded but not overwhelmingly so. Everyone was dressed finely, and everyone was golden-skinned. Yet there seemed to be a rainbow of colors otherwise in their robes and armors and various dressings. Jeweled coronets glittered from some brows, and gold from most necks. She was wearing what she had been when she lay down to sleep--the red robe with the leather belt bearing the symbol of House Dagoth, which in the crowd made her feel severely underdressed.

She distracted herself with how this all felt familiar, overwhelmingly so, and as she made her way through the room she got both nods and bows.

I've been here before, Sadara thought, I know I have been here before!

A memory, maybe, a memory she'd forgotten. Or perhaps just a dream, her mind trying to make sense of the new memories that were moving through her mind. Perhaps it was just a jumble of things...and yet...

Sadara managed to find her way to one of the walls, where were lined a small row of chairs and--a mirror. With the crowd still talking behind her she looked into it, seeing none of them in it--not even herself.

The face that looked out of the mirror was a golden-skinned Chimer, with white hair that stood up, and eyes so blue--

Nerevar! she realized suddenly, and raised a dusky hand to her face. In the mirror the hand was Nerevar's. So this is what I was before?

It unnerved her, to look into those eyes, despite the reflection being, well, her own. Yet it was not her own, and the stare of those eyes into her own had a strange guilt settling over her. What would he think, she wondered? How would he see what she was doing, or rather, not doing? Eyes this blue were an obvious sign of devotion to Azura...surely, Nerevar would be angry.

And yet...

...even if that is not what Azura wants...

Was Nerevar there somewhere in the back of her mind, doubting his lady's commands just as much as she was? The eyes in the mirror seemed worried...hopeful, in some minute way, but they were full of concern for certain.

Sadara turned away from the mirror suddenly, not wanting to look at those eyes any longer. She looked about the crowd, seeking any particularly familiar face. Seht, Vehk, even Ayem she'd have taken, some certainty in a place where everything was familiar but vague at the same time.

Like a painting of a place she knew she'd been, with definite details impossible to note. Faces were clear but no details jumped out to scream that this person was so-and-so, or that person was--

The crowd parted before her to let her pass, and the music coming from some nebulous, unclear point in the room rose into a gentle symphony of strings and flutes.

The ink-dark hair, the stiff posture...

He turned.

The golden mask.

The red and black robes and the golden pauldrons she didn't recognize, and yet again there was that feeling of deja vu. She did not remember him wearing this, and yet in her mind there was an echo of the memory, saying that yes, he HAD worn this. She had seen him here once before. Long, long ago...only without the mask.

"This," Voryn said, in a voice softer than any she had yet heard him use, "This is the last time before it all went so wrong."

Am I dreaming?

"Of course you are," the smile was evident in his voice, even if unreadable on that impassive gold, "Did you think I would neglect you?"

"I...I thought you would be busy." Sadara gave a brief smile, and then turned to look over the gathered crowd. "I remember all this, and yet I don't...I know I was here, but...everything...is hazy. Like an echo of a memory."

"Your lady would have you believe you do not need such memories," Voryn replied, "But to have Nerevar reborn without Nerevar himself...for a tool of the daedric princes, it would suit. You...you were made to do her bidding, and for no other reason. What pain he must go through, to see and to lose so many times."

Sadara was unsure how to respond, so she nodded to let him see she was paying attention, and to tell him to continue.

"This time....this time will be different, I swear it. I will see that the Tribunal do not get the chance to pour their lies in your ear; that Ayem does not poison you, that Vehk does not stab you. We shall rise over the Tribunal like a wave and drown them. We shall choke them with their own hubris, and then--show them the might and majesty of a true god."

He took her left hand and held it between both of his own.

"Do not fear to speak. Azura cannot touch you here."

"I know, but...I believe Seht could tell you that the daedric princes could lay waste to one's home and hearth easily."

"Seht had his vengeance," Voryn brushed it off, "And should the Lady of Dawn and Dusk think to harm you, I shall have mine."

He lay a hand on her face, turned it so her gaze crossed his own.

Once more, the flutter in her chest.

"What you see here will be again, once I have Wraithguard."

"'When the land is swept clean of false friends and greedy thieves, the children of Veloth will build anew a garden of plenty in this blighted wasteland,'" Sadara quoted.

"And you," he said, leaning in, "What do you hope to gain from all this?"

"Only security," she replied, heart beating rapidly in her chest as she spoke, "Give me that, and--"

Voryn silenced her with a kiss, and the noise of the crowd faded in her ears.

[aladaylessecondblog]

Lil Nerevar

Author's Note: Haj-deek is discovered much earlier and is taken to Red Mountain along with Im-Kilaya.

-----------

There was no mistaking the little face; they had all seen it before it pressed shyly back into Im-Kilaya's neck. Lord Dagoth's blood, and no mistake. The ring she wore on two fingers was the final clue.

"Where did you get that?" she had been asked.

"It was my mama's. She's gone now."

After a lengthy pause Haj-deek spoke again.

"I'm scared," she mumbled against Im-Kilaya's scales, "They look scary. They gonna eat us?"

"No, child, they're not going to eat us. They think...they think you are someone very important to Dagoth Ur."

She gasped.

"Everything is going to be alright."

They'd been placed in a side room, the door of which was being guarded by an ascended sleeper. He seemed to hear their conversation and floated forward.

"We have no plans to eat you, child. The Sixth House is not a house of barbarians. We are simply unprepared to receive you."

"What's dat mean?"

"It means that Lord Dagoth did not know of you."

"Why the vol-cano man care?" Haj-deek seemed unsure of where to look.

"Does she not know?" the sleeper looked to Im-Kilaya, who though frightened was masking it well enough.

"We hadn't yet told her, no," Im-Kilaya said, "Because we were afraid she might let it slip...and even in an Imperialist town like Ebonheart..."

"Im-kiwaya says the temple doesn't like me! Or my mama!" she said. "Or my mama's ring."

"And where is your mother?"

A new voice rang out now, one stronger than that of the sleeper, who immediately dropped into a bow at the new entrant's feet.

Haj-deek looked at Im-kilaya, a question in her little red eyes.

"I'll talk to him, little one."

Then she hid her face against his neck again.

"Her mother is dead," Im-Kilaya said, "She passed birthing Haj-deek, and asked us to care for her."

Silence. The taller figure drew closer, and now Haj-deek actually turned to look at him.

------------------------------

The stranger was wearing a big golden mask.

"That...IS...a very pretty ring," he said, gesturing to it. "It was your mother's, you said?"

"Yes," Haj-deek nodded, "Yes, it was my mama's. She gave it to me when I was born."

"She does not know all," Im-Kilaya said, repeating what he had to the sleeper, "A chattering child may share news to the wrong person by accident, you understand."

"You should be kneeling right now," the strange man said, "Why are you not? Do you think yourself my equal?"

"I stand on my feet before you because without me she would not be here either," Im-Kilaya said. He was shaking, still holding closely to Haj-deek, "Because without me, and the others of the mission, her mother would not have made it far enough to birth her."

"I am a xal-toh!" Haj-deek spoke up suddenly, "It means say-kred secret."

"They gave you THAT as a name?"

"No, no. My name is Haj-deek. Im-kilaya says it means I hidden child!" She paused and looked over the mask again. It felt familiar. She felt like she'd seen it before.

"Yes," Im-Kilaya said, speaking to her now, "Because your mother loved you very much, and wanted you to be safe from the Tribunal faithful."

"Surely her mother would have known she was safe with me, and the rest of her House," the stranger said.

Haj-deek was put on her feet, and told to go play with the tentacle-face man. He seemed like fun - he said he used to have a daughter, and so he suggested a tea-party, the supplies for which were soon gathered in a corner. Im-Kilaya was telling her it was alright, so it must be.

------------------------

"Her mother," Im-Kilaya finally said, "Never told us it was you herself...we learned that from the journal she kept after she died. She was weak, you understand - her wounds would not heal by spell or potion, and she did not dare make the attempt to leave Ebonheart in her delicate condition."

"And she trusted you?"

"As much as her daughter does." The fear seemed to be leaving the lizard, as he now stood a bit taller, and wasn't shaking as much. "That business you had the Dren slaver - all but kidnapping us, that scared her. If I were to meet with an unfortunate end, I have no doubt you will not find what you seek here."

There was a pause.

(The Hist had told him it would be so.)

"I would like to propose a trade," Im-Kilaya finally said, "I can give you several things, but I want some in return as well."

"I should smite you where you stand. Would you like that, lizard?" The golden mask held no emotion but his voice certainly made up for it. "What more could you give me that I do not now have?"

"Her mother's ashes. I guarantee that should I meet an unfortunate end, those of the Mission would not be inclined to cooperate with you. And without their help you would never be able to find her ashes on your own. Undoubtedly you want your daughter to see you as what you are to her - I can help you there as well."

"And in return I suppose you wish the end of slavery? For the beastfolk to rise above their--"

"That and more," Im-Kilaya said, "But I must remind you that in her mother's darkest hour it was not Sadara's fellow Dunmer to save her, but the beastfolk you so despise."

He looked at Haj-deek, engaged in her mock tea party with the sleeper, who seemed to be quite enjoying himself.

"We only wish you to remember that."

[aladaylessecondblog]

Lil Nerevar 7

"No, mama. Like dis."

Haj-deek grunted slightly, and a ball of light appeared in the hands she'd cupped together.

"I know, but I--" Sadara tried again, this time with more effort. A faint light appeared in her hands--faint, but there. "I've always had a problem with Illusion spells...you'd think being a bard I'd be better at it..."

"It's all very well, you will improve in time," Dagoth Ulen said, "You simply had no ability to be taught, and to learn alongside little lady Sunnar will benefit both of you. And different people have different talents, of course."

"Papa says his blood makes me better at magik," Haj-deek gave a little smile. "He talk in my dreams sometimes. And serjo Lorkhan too."

"Lorkhan?" Sadara's eyes widened.

"Yes," the girl nodded, "He very sad, nobody talk to him. Like papa was before you, mama. He say it make him crazy."

"And he isn't now?" It was Dagoth Ulen's turn to speak.

"He getting better."

Sadara hardly knew what to say, or to think, and was extremely grateful when Dagoth Ulen spoke up again.

"Now, you are very smart, so I know you won't be upset when I say you should be suspicious of whoever this is. It may be Lorkhan, it may be someone pretending to be him. We wouldn't want you to speak to one of the Daedra Lords who are trying to fool you - they aren't to be trusted, you know. What does Lorkhan ask of you? How does he appear to you?"

"Big snake. Sometimes he have wings. He likes to ask what I think about new thing I learn. Says it nice to hear child talk, we excited about everything! Then I ride on his back and if he have wings we fly all over!"

They broke for lunch, and after that the lesson went on. Sadara finally got the hang of the light spell, and Haj-deek went off to see if her father was "done staring at the heart."

"The Lorkhan talk worries me," Sadara said to Ulen quietly, "If it was Azura, she'd say it was her, she's too vain not to."

"She spoke of this even before you were revived," Ulen replied. "She hasn't mentioned this in such a way before..."

"What if she is telling the truth? I don't remember this ever happening before...if he appeared, he appeared as someone, not speaking to people in their dreams. That's more..."

"Lord Dagoth's specialty, you might say?"

"It might be a good idea to get some books on Shor and Shezarr, since that's how he's seen by people in Skyrim and Cyrodiil. Might give us some clues. But really, I couldn't see what he would want with my daughter."

"Perhaps he just wants a friend. But either way, rest assured, we will do what we must to protect her."

[aladaylessecondblog]

happier AU where Sadara manages to cleanse the Heart's darkness/Lorkhan shenanigans

Vivec manages to talk his way into staying alive and gives up Nerevar's bones. (if I were writing this out as a whole fic maybe I'd involve Almalexia. Maybe something about her madness being eased when the extreme anxiety at losing, well, everything is?)

At the ceasefire meeting Vivec's the one to note Sadara's pregnant because he does a spell of Detect Life to see if there's any extra hidden soldiers. He's just like "well it didn't take YOU very long did it?"

Sadara goes back to Red Mountain. And there's the joy over Nerevar being revived. How happy he is to see both of them. It feels too awkward to bring up the news now. Especially seeing Nerevar/Voryn bonding so well after so long apart.

Except she can't really hide it when there's a small feast and she turns down the wine.

(The usual conversation about Voryn wanting both of them happens.)

Later, more privately, it's gone over in more detail. And as enthusiastic as Voryn is about it Nerevar's even more so.

anyway I wrote all that because I had the image of some healer walking outside of the birthing room like "It's a girl! Mother's doing fine. You can see her now."

Nerevar laughs and goes, "Voryn, she's virtually a clone of you."

no bad things here.

Huge Nerevar. tiny baby.

Also Dagoth Ulen holding the little mite at some point soon after, happily changing the rancid diapers. The baby seems to like the music he and the ash poets pipe out

[aladaylessecondblog]

Severed Destiny, pt. 13

*Dagoth Ulen*

It had been a long time since Dagoth Ulen had left Kogoruhn, but it was not as though he minded. Whatever lay outside those walls, he did not want or need to remember. In memory there was only pain, the echo of his daughter's suffering which Lord Dagoth had wiped clean.

It was all he had asked of his Lord - to know his daughter was gone was one thing, but that was ALL he wanted to remember of her end. Take the horror I saw out of my head and my life is yours!

He had begged it on his knees before an ash statue, tears streaming down his face, after lengthy addictions to sujamma and skooma had not been enough. He had begged his new Lord to take the pain away.

Lord Dagoth had done it, earning in return most faithful service. Instead of the butchery he'd witnessed, there was now nothing, and though over time he began to lose more, there were always a few stray memories of happiness.

Ulen had been posted at Kogoruhn, at the former seat of House Dagoth, to assist Lord Uthol in guiding the souls that came there. To instruct those beneath him in worship. And in this manner had the years passed.

In his dreams this night there had come an order, directly from Lord Dagoth himself. An order that was close to his heart.

Dagoth Ulen, your Lord has need of you.

"Anything I may do for you shall be done." Ulen prostrated himself and rose only after He insisted on it. After a pause he spoke again. "What do you wish of me?"

Dagoth Ur seemed to hesitate, before forging forward. Long have I mourned the previous Nerevarine, and now, as you may have heard, there is another.

Ulen waited.

She is my daughter. I ask you to be frank with me, for as you have been a father before, you may think of things that simply do not occur to me.

What cruelty, Ulen thought, what savagery from Azura, to punish all sides for perceived sin by making the child the Nerevarine! And yet the honor this afforded him, to be taken so deeply into his Lord's confidence!

"How old is she? What have you managed to learn of her?" He did not beg pardon for asking these questions - he could feel there was no need to do so.

Lord Dagoth explained what he knew, what Orvas Dren had told him. That the girl of fifteen years was Sadara's child, that she had grown up in Ebonheart, right under everyone's nose. That she had been taken in by Vivec once she entered his city, and had only left to go to Tel Fyr.

The unspoken fear - that was visible to him - that either Azura or the false god would pour poison in the child's ear - seemed to rise. But more than that was the fear of her death.

It was clear that she still lived, because He had not felt her die, as He would if anyone with the divine disease did. But still Ulen saw what he had once seen in himself.

"Does she know she is your blood?"

She does, but I believe she fears me. The first time I appeared before her, she reached for a weapon.

"However distressing, natural for one who comes so early to the title of Nerevarine. She may have been fed on tales of your power even before she came to the false god's temple, who might also have told her you desire her death."

I am sure I do not need to tell you I desire anything but. If I should have her brought here for her own safety, she may not understand...and I do not wish to give her reasons to fear me. But...

"No father deserving of the title wishes his child to fear him," Ulen said, and then addressed the trailing off, "But?"

But it is necessary. I lost Nerevar, I lost her mother...I will not lose her as well.

---------------------------

*Almalexia*

She overheard the child's conversation with Fedris easily, despite the slight muffling provided by the helmet.

"Ahh...you're the one who has recently arrived in Mournhold from Vvardenfell. I was told of your arrival. I understand you had some problems with the Dark Brotherhood. An interesting group...and usually rather effective."

"Not this time," Haj-deek said confidently, "I was asleep when the...assassin...struck me, and still managed to live. I...could call it luck, I suppose."

"Luck!" Fedris burst out. "I'm surprised you're still alive! Perhaps you have potential, or they sent incompetents."

"Given my age and that I was attacked in my sleep and still managed to kill them I think it's the second part...have you any advice on how I might deal with these attacks?"

"We might willing to provide you protection, at least while you are here in the Temple. I believe you might be of service to our Lady."

"To you, maybe...I am certain...our...lady...will not wish to have me in her service."

"And why should I not?"

Almalexia appeared suddenly (at least, to the child) from the corner, and couldn't fail to notice the utter surprise displayed in her posture. Fedris immediately fell to his knees, while the girl remained standing despite her obvious fear.

"Isn't it obvious?"

"Kneel before the Lady, you impudent child!" Fedris burst out, and after a moment's hesitation the girl did.

It pleased her, pleased her greatly, to see the one wearing the moon-and-star kneel before her.

"Rise, both of you," Almalexia said, "Fedris, you may leave us. I am sure you have much to do...and I have much to discuss with our newcomer."

Fedris bowed again when he'd risen and quickly left. Then the goddess turned her eyes on Haj-deek.

"So you are the person I have been hearing about. I welcome you to my chapel, Haj-deek...or perhaps I should call you by another name? Tell me, why do you not show your face?" she asked. "I would look upon you, to see she whose service I might accept. "

"Just having the ring..." Haj-deek mumbled, "I can't show you my face. I--the Dark Brotherhood attacker's blade disfigured me...even with healing, the scars..."

The girl's voice shook when she spoke...this was unfortunate, but also handy.

"Do you think all those who serve me can only do so if their looks are intact?"

"Well, no, but--"

A pause. A long pause.

"You poor child. You must fear everything around you, and I am certain before you encountered Vivec that you had heard many stories of prior incarnates being murdered. Have you not?"

"I have heard the stories, but..." The girl hesitated before going on, "...have found no reason to believe them so far. Lord Vivec says things have 'changed greatly of late.'"

"And is it by his order that you come here? Does he send you as a way to prove that you are under his power?"

"I'm under nobody's power," Haj-deek spoke up quickly, "Not Azura's, not his, not m--Dagoth Ur's."

"So brave," Almalexia gave a smile, "To throw off Azura's yoke...I would never have thought it. Nerevar would never have done it."

The child's head tilted slightly.

"And Nerevar is dead. I don't want to serve one who doesn't bother to help those who need her."

"As well you should not. Come, you are safe in my Temple, none of those Dark Brotherhood fools will reach you here. I will see to your safety--"

"And in return you will want...what?"

If she didn't know better she would think the child was trying to buy time...but for what?

"Only your devotion," the smile spread across her face soon after, despite her doubts, "The same devotion I ask of all my faithful. If you seek one worthy of worship you need look no further than myself..."

"Lord Vivec expects me back," Haj-deek said, in a quieter tone, "What--shall I tell him, when I do not return on time? I only came to Mournhold in the first place to--see what might be done about the Dark Brotherhood's coming after me."

"Did you think that would be a quick affair? You are a little foolish, but at your age that is no surprise. And what shall you tell Vivec? Nothing. For now."

The child's posture began to ease, though not as much as she hoped.

Still...Haj-deek was only a girl, and girls of her sort could be led, if one took the right approach. A young one burdened with prophecy must surely be seeking answers, and Almalexia was eager to plant them in the child's mind.

[aladaylessecondblog]

Severed Destiny brainrot

Dagoth Ur, literally watching Haj-deek sleep:

Dagoth Ur:

Dagoth Ur: Ulen what do I do now

[aladaylessecondblog]

Sorry for the shit lighting

Just getting a picture of Dagoth Ulen

He's going to be one of my Nerevarines' best buddy :)

[aladaylessecondblog]

Severed Destiny brainrot

Haj-deek when she gets to Kogoruhn is getting introduced to Dagoth Ulen

Ulen has very firmly been told "When she arrives you are her shadow. I don't want a hair on her head harmed unless whatever did it went through you first."

daddy dagoth is taking NO CHANCES this go round.

[aladaylessecondblog]

More of the "baby Nerevarine" AU idea

I say Haj-deek but that sure wouldn't be her name in this one

Lil toddler running around with one of Ulen's trunks wrapped around her wrist

Someone (idk maybe Dagoth Ur) says he needs to explain why he does that. It's wrong/inhumane/children ought to learn to walk on their own

Ulen says nothing, merely lets go

Haj-deek makes a beeline for the nearest path to lava, and is promptly picked up via telekinesis and is giggling because this is clearly part of a game

Ulen, probably: Rule number one with toddlers - you think restraint of this sort is inhumane right up until they get mobile

[aladaylessecondblog]

Blind Azura (by Dagoth Ulen)

Author's Note: This is me working stuff out but it's also got some stuff I'll definitely be using later, so MASSIVE spoilers for Severed Destiny. Mention of gore in one section

---------------------

Mortals are but simple sport to the Daedra Lords. They pull the strings, and you poor fools leap and dance. Why do you serve them? Why do you fall for their honeyed lies? For ages you've yielded to their temptations, their false promises. How soon you forget their treachery, their deceits. None of them deserve the loyalty they receive, and the one I write of now even less so.

Azura of the Daedra Lords is one who has many titles. Queen of Dawn and Dusk, the Mother Soul, Moonshadow, Mother of the Rose, Queen of the Night Sky, and Twilight Queen among them. To this we will now add a new: Blind Azura.

The story of this new epithet is entwined and begins with that of the ones whom she most claimed to love: Lord Nerevar, and his incarnates. But where was her love when Lord Nerevar lay dying? And where was she when his first eight incarnates failed in their various ways? Watching while they did the work. Her love is as negligent as it is conditional - is that, I ask you, a Lord worthy of worship? No. A thousand times no.

His ninth incarnation, our Lady Sadara, was bold enough to see a way forward where others could not, though even Lord Dagoth could not yet conceive of it, for his heart was buried in sorrow. She plucked it from the abyss, blessed it with new hope and light, only to plunge it into the darkness anew upon her death. Azura of the Twilight saw fit to remove her access to healing magics, and thus ensured that death by her malice through the birth of Lord Dagoth's heir. And even in death there was no escape - a constant torment that only ceased when our Lady breathed in life once more.

It was the daughter of House Dagoth, the result of this love and subsequent death, who helped to bring the unmourned House back to its glory.

Sadly it was also she who paid a price of pain for defying the whims of her would-be master.

Thus it was that the circumstances in which Azura earned her next epithet: in the bowels of Oblivion, in a partnership with Dagon that should never have been, Azura sent foe after foe until the daughter of House Dagoth fell to exhaustion. Then began the true torment - but Azura's arrogance and eagerness for vengeance was too great, her focus too single-minded, to notice that she had an audience.

For Lord Dagoth came walking, looking for his lost daughter, aided in some measure by the (we still consider him a false god, despite the 'alliance') one called Vivec. Lord Dagoth desired immediate vengeance, but Vivec in his momentary wisdom saw the disadvantage of enacting it in Oblivion and advised him to take her through the Oblivion gate nearest them first. He retrieved the daughter of Dagoth, and returned her to a place of safety.

And once back in Morrowind, before the very gates of the city of Vivec, Lord Dagoth has his revenge. Not merely for the torment of his daughter but for that of his loves, that of our Lord Nerevar and Lady Sadara. An aeon's worth of retribution was dealt upon her, not the least of which was the removal of her eyes. Lord Dagoth laughed as he clawed them from her, this daedra lord, and asked if she could now see the future her own sin had wrought.

And so now to the list of others we add: Blind Azura.

For she could not see the future which she was herself bringing about, and so paid the price for it - the evidence of which hangs daily about the necks of two of those three whom Lord Dagoth loves best. Symbols, as it were, of his devotion. And reminders to those who think to harm his best beloveds.